The Powerful Pause: Why the 90 Second Emotion Rule Can Take You From Reacting to Responding
As working professionals and parents, our days aren’t just full, they often feel overflowing. Emotions rise faster than our ability to catch them. What if I told you that almost every strong emotion that shows up can actually pass through us in 90 seconds, without us getting stuck?
Enter the 90‑Second Emotion Rule.
The Science Behind the Brief Emotional Surge
Neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, who’s done groundbreaking work on brain chemistry, explains that when something triggers a chemical emotional surge in your body, it lasts about 90 seconds. After that, if you’re still feeling the emotion, you’re choosing to stay in it through your thoughts and reactions.
Emotions are meant to flow through us like waves. But here’s the catch: we tend to envelop ourselves with stories, judgments, and narratives about our emotions. As soon as that initial wave subsides, we mentally replay it: “She didn’t listen. She always…” and just like that, the cycle restarts, extending the emotion beyond its natural 90-second lifespan.
What This Means for You (And Your Energy)
Personally, I believe our energy isn’t endless. But it is everything. When emotions coat that energy, they weaken our presence, our clarity, and our capacity to show up as our best selves. But the beauty of this 90‑second reminder is that you don’t have to let the wave overtake you. Let it come. Let it go. Let it flow.
A Simple Practice to Shift the Pattern
Here’s one way to leverage the 90‑Second Rule:
Notice - Something triggers you: irritation, sadness, overwhelm.
Time - Silently note: “Okay, I’ll ride this for 90 seconds.”
Anchor - Breathe deeply, feel your feet on the floor, ground your presence.
Observe - Get curious (not critical): Where is this in my body? What does it feel like?
Allow - Let the emotion wave come and go. Try not to fuel it with thoughts.
Respond - After 90 seconds, you’re back in the driver’s seat. You can choose how to respond. Hopefully with intention instead of reaction.
This isn’t about pushing emotions away because they’re not the enemy. They’re signals. They’re data. Our goal is to stop letting our reactions fuel our emotional spirals beyond what’s naturally happening.
How This Supports Your Life
Energy stays grounded: You get to be in control of your emotions before they start to spiral.
You grow emotional intelligence: Over time, you begin noticing your triggers in advance so they don’t become spirals.
New patterns emerge: With consistent awareness curiosity and breathing, you shift from automatically reacting to choosing your responses intentionally.
Final Thoughts: Your 90‑Second of Power
This tool may seem simple, but its impact can be powerful. The truth is you don’t have to live in the waves of your emotions. They’re only meant to last for 90 seconds, not a lifetime.
Are you ready to experiment this week with the 90‑Second Emotion Rule? Notice when you feel the crest and then observe what happens when you simply allow it to come over you and flow through. Try letting the power of pausing take over and see how your energy, clarity, and confidence begin to shift from within.